There, I’ve made it public, I’m officially retired. Mind you my dreams haven’t gotten the news. I occasionally wake up in a cold sweat dreaming of solving some workplace problem. Strange that it does still make me a little nostalgic.

It seems a lot of people have followed my lead:

– Fergie, not the red haired, wayward member of royalty, the coach of Manchester United retired only last week and has already come up for sainthood.

– David Beckham just played his last match. For you Yanks who don’t recognize him from soccer, he’s the one in the underwear adverts, married to Posh Spice.


– Michael Owen and a number of other British soccer stars

But then there was one bucking the trend:

– Bonnie Tyler, Welsh singer (Total Eclipse of the Heart) bonnie tylercame out of retirement this week to represent the UK at the Eurovision Song Contest.

What is the Eurovision Song Contest? It’s a once yearly original song contest started to unify Europe in the aftermath of World War II. And it has unified much of Europe in a general distaste of the contest. For 58 years 40-some countries have competed for the title, sort of an Olympics of song. Think of contestants chosen by government committee and voted for by political blocks akin to the Olympic shenanigans of the cold war. Think of performances akin to Barry Manilow and Liberace, dominated by Euro-techno-thumpa-thumpa arrangements with lyrics like ‘I want to feed you my love’, ‘alcohol is free’, ‘doo doo doo’, la la la’ and the like.  My favorite this year was the Romanian entry, a totally vamped out Draculaeurovision in a robe rising 30 feet above a stage lit by fire and lightning, singing in an impossibly beautiful soprano falsetto rivaling the alien diva from The Fifth Element. fifth element divaBy the way Bonnie Tyler’s entry didn’t come in dead last, which is an improvement over the UK’s recent efforts. It was better than last year’s entry, Englebert Humperdink. humperdinkSo much for bringing performers out of retirement.

So how do I manage to put up with three hours of such a contest?  Because I’m RETIRED! and… because I love it. Anyone know of a Eurovision Song Contest Anonymous support group I can join?